ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize