Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
