Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
