Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
