gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
