shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
