I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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