Sponge bath it is.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
