it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
