You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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