just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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