Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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