He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Let's paint friendship bongs
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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