eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize