Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
