whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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