In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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