2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
