Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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