I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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