So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
