No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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