i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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