Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Found your dick twin last night
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
