thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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