If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Do vagina's smell?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
