guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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