how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
pop tarts are not kleenex
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
