My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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