I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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