connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Dear god my vagina.
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