next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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