My nipple is on Facebook.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I checked into jail on foursquare
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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