there's paper in my vomit.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
