You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
