Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
