hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
