NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
