How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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