it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
