Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
