Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
