office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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