All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
