New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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