Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
pray to the hookup gods
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
