just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
