I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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