Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Of course I have a pirate flag
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