wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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