Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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