The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
