Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
