we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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