Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
