We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
