we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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