I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
