It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
