I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
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He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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