Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
