sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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