you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
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he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
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They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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