i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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