he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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