Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Are we still banned from the library?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
