I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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