Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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